Walking away from a relationship, even if you are experiencing problems can be a very difficult decision.
As humans we are naturally wired to resist change, and leaving a relationship where you’ve invested time, and formed a routine with and around a person is a huge change. It’s common to second guess yourself when considering ending a relationship, and although there’s no easy answer to this, we’ve came up with 5 signs that it may be time to walk away.
They don’t make an effort
No relationship is perfect, and there are bound to be times of turbulence now and again. If you are you sat here desperately googling relationship advice whilst they are out again, without bothering to tell you where they are, this is not a good sign though.
Are you the one always initiating conversation or showing vulnerability and it’s never reciprocated? Are you the one planning date nights, meanwhile they’ve forgotten your anniversary yet again? Then, you may be in a one-sided relationship. If you are the one always compromising, and working around their schedule, this is not a fair or equal relationship. A relationship with problems can absolutely be salvaged, but not if only one person is putting in the effort.
This quote perfectly summarizes the inevitable end result of such a relationship.
“If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative! Know when to close the account.”
You don’t trust them
As cliché as it sounds, trust really is the foundation of any relationship, romantic or otherwise, without it there’s no groundwork to even build upon, and this goes for both you and your partner.
If you find you’re repeatedly apprehensive when your partner isn’t with you, or you’re constantly concerned about what they’re doing, who they’re with, where they’re going, or maybe you don’t believe the answers they give you – it’s time to go.
If your partner has given you no reason to mistrust them but you find insecurity and jealousy rear their ugly heads anyway, it may be sign to take some time to work on yourself outside of a relationship.
Photographer: Jessica Billings
You’ve grown apart
Relationships tend to form based on some kind of common interest; because we need a way to relate to our partner, we need to draw on some common ground.
If it seems like your goals and ambitions are leading you both in completely different directions, your shared interests have diminished, and you’re almost living separate lives – you may have simply grown apart.
Sadly, this is something that happens often. What you cannot do is attempt to change your partner or allow your partner try and change you. A healthy relationship is one where both people are fully supportive and accepting of each other, just the way they are. If this is something either you or your partner cannot do, it may be a sign you need to leave.
You have communication problems
Unsurprisingly, communication problems frequently lead to relationship problems. After all, how can you expect to nurture a sense of intimacy, closeness and love if you cannot communicate with your significant other?
Strong relationships are cultivated through being able to talk about anything and everything comfortably. If your partner is dismissive or takes it as an opportunity to instigate an argument when you disclose your worries or concerns with them, this isn’t healthy, and often leads to resentment.
Similarly, a lack of communication is equally as damaging. If you feel as though your partner is not being honest and transparent with you about their feelings and trying to figure out what’s potentially upset them is more difficult than trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blind-folded, then this is a huge cause for concern. Truthfulness and openness are vital in any relationship.
There’s no passion
If your partner is neglecting your needs, or you don’t feel supported by them anymore, it may be time to move on. A relationship certainly won’t be red, hot and fiery with the flames of love all time, but there certainly shouldn’t be a complete lack thereof.
Has your partner stop doing the cute little things they used to? Have good morning texts been replaced with only nit-picky reminders berating you for leaving the light on? If the passion is dead, the relationship will inevitably begin to feel stale and mundane – such a relationship also tends to be the main reason why people end up cheating.
It doesn’t make you happy
Sometimes, you just gotta listen to your heart. If a relationship – for whatever reason – is no longer making you feel happy and contented, then it may have come to its natural end. That’s not to say that’s because anyone did anything wrong, but sometimes, two people simply aren’t right for each other. It can be hard to walk away from a relationship that’s no longer making you happy, often because it’s difficult to acknowledge that it’s the case. But though it may be hard, listen to your gut feeling – it is often the truest voice we have to guide us.
The decision to end a relationship is not one to be taken lightly, and it’s important to remember no one is perfect. No relationship should riddle you with anxiety and stress, however, and if one or more of the following lists applies to you, it might just be worth reassessing your relationship status.
Whilst we’re on the subject of lasting love, here are 5 scientifically proven tips to help you find it.