You have a good feeling about this.
You’ve already been on enough dates and spent enough time together to know that this is no ordinary fling: even if it started as a casual, summer flirt, it’s now so much more!
You can see the potential of the two of you as a couple, your bond could grow into something strong and timeless… but does he feel the same way?
Asking someone how they feel about the relationship they are in – the “so… where do you think we are at” chat – may be one of the most awkward conversations in the history of mankind. And while you definitely shouldn’t avoid having this conversation, perhaps you should wait until you’ve seen some positive signs first. You know positive signs he is The One.
But what would these signs be? Besides your gut feeling?
Ultimately, the truth lies in his behavior: in the small things he may (or may not) do, even without realizing. These are signs that can give you a pretty good indication of how he sees you.
To help you navigate this tricky relationship territory, we’ve gathered 7 sure-fire ways to tell if your lover also sees your relationship going the distance.
If you’re on the hunt for signs he’s the one for you… read on!
He’s the One If: He Responds Well Around Your Friends and Family
When you’re just on the early fling stage, meeting the parents (or even the friends, for that matter) can be super awkward. Most people who are not yet ready to commit, will actively avoid interacting with the important people in your life, so that the relationship doesn’t accelerate at a speed they are uncomfortable with.
Sometimes, they may even be genuinely hesitant to form bonds with people when they are not sure if these people will be relevant to their lives for long.
And, whilst that sounds a bit cruel, it is kinda fair – after all, not every relationship is meant to last.
But when it comes to signs he is The One, perhaps the simplest test is to put your boo into an environment that’s familiar to you but not to him, whether that’s a family dinner or a night out with your friends at your favorite bar, and see how comfortable he is.
Even if he’s not at ease right away (and, let’s face it, not many people would be unless they’re born charmers), if he’s seriously interested in you, he’ll make a valiant effort to interact with your loved ones.
That’s really all you need at this stage!
He’s the One If: He Loves to Lift You Up
… And not just physically. We can’t all be dating Dirty Dancing’s Johnny Castle, or Jacob Palmer from Crazy, Stupid Love.
What we mean here, is: you can’t be in a committed relationship with someone you’re not, at least at some level, proud of. And when you are proud of a loved one, be they a boyfriend, a relative or a friend, you waste no opportunity to toot their horn, right?
If you want to know whether he’s The One, you can look to recognize two similar behaviors. One, is that he’ll show his affection by taking an active interest in things that are important to you. And two, that he’ll never hesitate to lift you up — to be your personal cheerleader when you’re doing something you’re passionate about.
And that’s very important!
Your accomplishments should be celebrated by your S.O., not downplayed out of fear that you’ll hurt his own ego.
He’s the One If: You’re Each Other’s Confidants
You know these couples who have been together for a long time and still remain #couplegoals? One of the key things that make their relationship special is that they’re each other’s best friends, above all else.
It may sound a bit of a cliché: but of all the signs he is The One, the ability to confide in your special someone about anything and everything is one of the most important.
If you’re the first person to hear about both his daily annoyances and his daily triumphs, if you feel the need to tell him right away when something important (or even trivial, but fun) happens in your life, you know your relationship has a good chance of also becoming #couplegoals.
He’s the One If: There Are No ‘Off Limit’ Topics
Couples who laugh together, stay together.
And we’re not just saying that! Creating your own shared love language and having “inside jokes” is a scientifically proven way to make love last.
Do you sometimes feel afraid he might be insulted, if you talk about certain things? Or do you catch yourself “editing” the things you share with him in order to avoid conflict? If so, these are – unfortunately – definite red flags in your “signs he is The One” list.
Of course, we’re not saying you should be insulting each other – or each other’s likes or dislikes – just for fun. Not at all!
More that there shouldn’t be any ‘blind spots’ between you when it comes to communication.
Being able to not only talk, but joke about anything together, increases the possibility of having a long and fulfilling life together – a life that’s literally full of laughter and love.
He’s the One If: He’s Seen You at Your Worst
What is “your worst”?
If you think that means “he’s seen you without any makeup on”, then think again sister!
Ohhh it gets way worse than that!
(Although, the fact that you don’t feel obliged to wake up earlier to curl your hair or line your eyes anymore, does speak volumes.)
One of the truest tests of a relationship, is if you are able to be authentically, honestly and openly yourself in front of the other person — to share even the less glossy or attractive parts of who you are.
For example, it’s a sure sign he’s The One if…
He’s seen what you look like and how you behave after staying up all night to finish a work project (if that happens a lot, you may need to find a better work-life balance).
He’s seen what you look like when you’re sad about something, when you’re angry at the world for no reason or when you get too lazy to do anything else but scroll your phone for hours at end.
He’s seen you hog the remote when you just wanna finish binge-watching your new Netflix obsession – even if his team are playing.
He’s seen all this and, although he may not love these aspects of you, he’s not scared or appalled by them in any way.
He knows how to handle you, when you get like this.
Now, put your phone down and maybe take a walk together?
He’s the One If: Talking About the Future Isn’t Scary
Anything from making plans for future holidays, to buying tickets for concerts that will take place months later, are good signs that he is The One.
An even better sign? The fact that you’ve also had honest conversations about what both of you would like the future to look like — and you have similar or at least compatible visions.
But, don’t go disregarding the relationship if you’re not entirely on the same future-facing track right now. People change, and their wants and needs change too.
The most important thing is that you talk about it. Don’t let one or two clashing ideals ruin your relationship forever. If he truly is The One, then you’ll both learn to compromise and meet in the middle, to create a future which works for both of you.
He’s the One If: You Still Have Each Other’s Back on A Bad Day
Of all the sure-fire signs he is The One, “not ever getting into a fight” is… definitely not on the list.
Yes, finding The One means you will probably be compatible enough to not have unnecessary drama.
But not ever getting into a fight? That’s just humanly impossible!
There will be days when one of you will be in a cranky mood. When one of you will be ill or annoyed, or one of you will even do something bad that will hurt the other. This will happen, even when you’ve definitely found The One and are living happily ever after.
The important thing is to know you’re still on the same team – that you’ve still got each other’s back, even when the going gets rough.
A good tip to make sure you can weather any storm? Never go to sleep angry.
So, is he The One?
Maybe you know, maybe you don’t.
But if you’ve got a good feeling about it, then stick it out. Who knows, we may be hearing wedding bells very soon indeed!
Having said that, if you’ve read this article and, unfortunately, started realizing that your relationship does not tick many of these boxes – perhaps it’s time to consider walking away.
No one needs to be in a relationship that’s lukewarm, with someone who does not confide in them or support them… Instead, we think you will be much happier as a singleton!
Above all else: be happy!
Connection is what it’s all about. Feel free to reach out to us with any comments or questions you might have, even if it’s only to say hello. If it wasn’t for our beautiful community, this place just wouldn’t feel the same.