“It takes hard work to keep a relationship happy” – You’ve probably heard that one a million times, right?
Here’s the thing: a newly sprouted romance is exciting enough. Feeling like you have to bring your A-game all the time can be exhausting.
You deserve to keep your relationship happy. And when the going gets tough, you gotta approach your partner from a place of understanding and positivity. That takes a shift in perspective.
In other words, don’t work harder; work smarter. And more passionately.
It’s okay to need a little reminder of that from time to time. The relationship mantras below will help steer you on a path to lasting love and happiness.
Let’s get our mantra on!
Nobody’s Perfect. No, Really.
When we first fall head over messy boots for someone, it’s very easy to idolize them. We tend to believe they are perfect and could never do anything wrong.
While this is understandable, it’s also quite unfair: your new, amazing partner is also a human being. Yes, they are great. But human beings also come with flaws and bad days. At times they can do or say the wrong thing.
Misunderstandings Happen in The Best Relationships. Accept That and Move On Together.
Cut your partner (and yourself, for that matter) some slack. Realize that the start of a new relationship also means that two completely separate lives are merging together. Misunderstandings will happen. Realizing they’re not the end of the world ensures your relationship will go the distance.
Be careful though: allowing for human error doesn’t mean forgiving your partner for everything all of the time. Especially if they don’t seem to understand or care that their words and actions are hurting you.
Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
Remember how your momma used to tell you, “Never go to bed angry”? Sorry momma, but that’s not always possible.
When you’re in an ongoing relationship, there will be nights where you will go to bed annoyed at each other. Maybe even angry. At times it simply won’t be realistic to expect to solve every problem and wrap it with a neat little bow before you both go to bed.
Sometimes It’s Okay to Go to Bed Angry. Tomorrow Is A Brand-New Day.
What is realistic though, is that tomorrow will be another day. You can choose to wake up ready to let bygones be bygones, or at least ready to work this through with your partner from a calmer place. As you open your eyes to this new day, remember all your blessings… and don’t carry yesterday’s anger with you.
This is one of the key ways of making sure that you set yourself up for lasting love.
Spending Quality Time Apart Is Key
Being in a happy relationship doesn’t mean being joined at the hip. There will be movies and shows you won’t both want to watch. There will be times when your partner won’t feel like hanging out with the same group of friends as you. Or times when you feel like going on an adventure with just your besties.
Perhaps one of you decides to take a university course that will keep you studying in the evenings. The other might head on a few business trips throughout the year. It’s all part of daily life.
Time Spent Apart Can Bring You Closer When You Are Excited For Each Other.
And no, it’s not a sign that your relationship is failing. You don’t always have to show up everywhere together.
Give each other the space you both need. Do your own thing once in a while. And get excited to share all your adventures with your loved one after your return home. This way the time spent apart may actually bring you closer.
There’s no doubt about it though, long distance relationships are really tough. Here are our golden rules for making long distance work.
Listen. Really Listen.
Your special someone starts venting about their horrible day at work. But you are only half-listening. Maybe you are looking for an opening in their monologue to start sharing about your own day. Or because you have heard some version of that story a thousand times before. Or because you have already made your judgement and know exactly what they need to do.
We are all guilty of this at times. But you won’t be surprised to hear that interrupting or going into standby mode isn’t the key to great communication.
Sometimes the Most Loving Thing We Can Do Is Just To Be There For Each Other.
To maintain a healthy relationship, you need to know who your significant other really is. And to know them, you need to really listen to them.
Even if you mean well. Even if it’s an easy fix in your mind and you want to offer solutions. Sometimes the most therapeutic thing we can do for a special someone is not to fix their problem. It’s holding that space for them to vent. Just be there and listen. The suggestions and solutions can come after.
We actually realized how important this is after hearing about it on a podcast. We’ve since gotten hooked on couple podcasts. There’s something so amazing about being able to hear and learn from other couples talking candidly about their lives. Here are some of our favorite podcasts for couples that should be on your radar.
Honesty with Your Partner Requires Honesty with Yourself
If you don’t know who you are and what you want in life – how will you know what you want from your partner?
Maybe your partner is keen to get engaged, but you’re just not sure if you’re ready to commit in this way.
A lasting relationship usually involves some big discussions. Marriage and kids being just two of many. Before talking to your partner, you should figure out where you stand on any subject. What’s your heart and gut reaction to it? Then, you can discuss it together.
Know Where You Stand, But Also Allow Room for Growth.
That’s not to say that your original, theoretical stance on a subject cannot change when you’re actually living it. You may be coming to this relationship certain you don’t want any kids. Then you realize that the thought of starting a family with your partner actually makes you excited for the future.
You may be adamant on a big wedding with a party for all your friends. Then you realize you’d rather just spontaneously elope instead.
When we are in a happy relationship, we usually evolve and change together — but we do need to know what we’re changing from. And communicate all throughout the process.
Couples Who Play Together, Stay Together
Remember what we said earlier about not being joined at the hip?
Well, the opposite is also true.
If all your time together is spent on the boring/mundane/everyday stuff, you will start to forget why you chose this person in the first place: to be your partner in crime. Through the ups and downs. The routine and the adventure.
You need to be able to do fun things together with your sweetheart; things that not only entertain you, but also excite and surprise you.
Keeping Your Relationship Legendary Is All About Keeping Your Inner Children Happy.
Spontaneous day trips are always a good idea. Just hop in the car, put some music on and go where the road takes you…
But you can also plan for fun activities, from picnics to outdoor movies and from geocaching to mini golf — whatever makes your inner child giddy with excitement.
Keeping your inner children happy = keeping your relationship legendary.
Want some extra ideas on how to play together with your SO? Here are some adventurous springtime date ideas to surprise them with, some unconventional date nights for city dwellers, and some cute outdoor adventures. Want to keep it affordable? Then check out these 10 unique and totally free date night ideas.
Whatever your relationship brings, we hope that these mantras help you to stay happy and connected.