There is absolutely nothing wrong with friendship or the friend zone. The wish to “just be friends” can be the beginning of a beautiful adventure. So why then look out for friend zone signs, you might wonder?
Well, the problem starts when the feeling is not mutual. When you secretly yearn for someone to be your new romantic interest. Spending all this time thinking about them takes a lot of energy out of you. And you hope that the time spent together will eventually lead to something more…
Sometimes people keep us at arm’s length. Yes, they are replying to messages. There is the occasional hangout. And they never tell us specifically that they aren’t interested. But they are also not taking it to the next level.
It feels like you’re in some kind of dating limbo!
In case you are wondering whether you are involuntarily being filed under ‘buddy’ in the mind of your love interest – this article is for you!
We’ve put together some warning signs to look out for. So you can decide what your next step will be.
#1/5 FRIEND ZONE SIGNS | They Prefer Day Time Coffee Hangs Over Romantic Get-Togethers
Let’s face it, dating can be time consuming and nerve racking (by the way, if you’re feeling nervous before a first date these tips will help).
There is nothing wrong with meeting someone for a casual coffee for the first time. It’s a great way to figure out whether or not you are interested in spending more time with them. But there is a sweet spot when short day-time coffee dates should transition into longer hangs.
If your date is interested, they are gonna wanna spend more time with you. And maybe even pick activities that have a bigger romantic potential. Think dinners, drinks, a sports event or a cute competition like mini golf, for example.
So, if you keep suggesting that you meet for a nice dinner only to get counter offers along the lines of “let’s just grab coffee” – there is a big chance the other person is moving into friendzone territory.
Whether or not you want to tag along depends on your feelings toward them — and your preferred level of caffeine intake.
#2/5 FRIEND ZONE SIGNS | They’re Always Serving Super Casual Looks
You know we’re all about that laid back, messy hair aesthetic.
We firmly believe that you don’t have to be dressed to the nines in order to impress a date. In fact, if you are a laid-back character you should show your authentic self-right from the get-go (plus, a casual get up is practically mandatory if you’re going into an adventurous date like these).
That being said, some amount of effort is appreciated when you go on a date that is important to you. It simply shows that you care enough about the other person to present your authentic self in a way that you think could be attractive to them.
If your date repeatedly fails to put in that effort, it may be a signal they see you as a buddy, rather than a romantic partner.
#3/5 FRIEND ZONE SIGNS | They Share Their Love Life in Great Detail
Every great relationship is based in honesty. Plus, really listening when your date is sharing things with you is a scientifically proven way to make your connection last.
You definitely shouldn’t hesitate opening up about personal matters — it’s a sign you feel comfortable around your date and consider them worthy of your trust.
Red Flag Alert: If your date is constantly talking about past relationships, romantic encounters or their current dating life in great detail – that’s a sure-fire signal out of all those friend zone signs that they see you as a pal.
It’s great they trust you so much they want to share those things. But you should ask yourself whether you are comfortable being their sounding board. At least as long as you aren’t sure about where you stand emotionally.
#4/5 FRIEND ZONE SIGNS | They Dodge Opportunities for Intimacy
There are seconds that can feel eternal. Like those last moments of a date when we’re wondering: Is today the day? Will they finally lean in for a kiss?
But then – a kiss on the cheek. A hug. Or, worse, an awkward handshake. Yikes!
Putting yourself out there is scary. Hoping your affection will be reciprocated is torture. Getting a tepid response (or none at all) can be a big blow to your confidence. (For moments like that, this confidence boosting playlist is sure to help… and a glass of wine, your cutest pj set, and maybe even inviting a friend over for a cheese plate.)
What you need to consider here is timing.
Some people need more time before they can feel physically comfortable with others — but that doesn’t mean the attraction isn’t there. So, if this happens at the first date, don’t despair. Your crush may just be a bit shy, but still display signs of thoughtfulness and affection that signal they’re into you.
If, however, you keep going out on dates with them and they never initiate or reciprocate any attempts for intimacy, then you have in all probability entered the friend zone.
So that means if it’s intimacy you’re craving, you should start looking elsewhere.
#5/5 FRIEND ZONE SIGNS | They Take You for Granted
When you are truly interested in someone, you show them you care.
No matter how comfortable you may be in the relationship, you don’t want to lose that person. And you realise their presence in your life is not a given.
When we like someone, we tend to justify certain behaviours. But when they cancel on you multiple times or aren’t thoughtful towards your needs and feeling – the relationship isn’t mutual. And you are well advised to remove them from your life.
Because whether they are a new friend or a potential love interest – every relationship in your life should make you feel appreciated.
Is your date not going well and becoming friends is no option? Here are some tips on how to get out of a relationshipthat isn’t serving you well.
Good luck and remember: Don’t settle for anything less than 100% commitment – you deserve it!
Connection is what it’s all about. Feel free to reach out to us with any comments or questions you might have, even if it’s only to say hello. If it wasn’t for our beautiful community, this place just wouldn’t feel the same.