5 Ways to Turn A Summer Fling into Relationship Material by Fall

Photographer: Cari Hughes

Sometimes though, your summer romance may be someone you don’t want to say goodbye to. But is it even possible to turn summer flirt into a relationship?

Summer loving happened so fast… Ah, but you know how the song goes. Starting an exciting fling with someone during summertime is just so much easier to do than during drab months of winter! And not just because you have more free time to party and let your hair down.

You’re also your most chilled and happy during your summer vacay — and let’s be honest, who doesn’t look great in a tan? Sometimes though, your summer romance may be someone you don’t want to say goodbye to. But is it even possible to turn summer flirt into a relationship?

You’ll be glad to know it totally is.

Just follow these tips and you’ll learn how to help your relationship blossom into something that will last far longer than your tan.

1. Make Sure You’re Actually Compatible with Your Fling Before Considering a Relationship

It’s a fact: in the general laissez faire of the summer months, we tend to be less inhibited about selecting a romantic partner.

This can sometimes be good. It helps us get out of our own heads and gives us the courage to admit to our crush that we like them. But it can also make us choose people who don’t have the time or emotional capacity to be anything more than a summer fling.

So, if you’re really do want to turn your flirt into a relationship, you gotta ask yourself some hard questions. Above all, are you really ready for a long-distance relationship?

We’re not saying that starting a long-distance relationship with your summer romance is completely off the cards. Many great love stories have started that way.

We are simply saying that romantic as it may sound, turning a flirt into a relationship is going to be harder if it’s long distance. Let alone costly.

But if both of you are committed to make it work, it’s definitely not impossible. Perhaps check out these golden rules to make a long-distance relationship work?

2. Set Some Ground Rules

When you start off a super casual summer romance, chances are you don’t expect (or even think about) exclusivity right away.

But as you start thinking of turning your fling into a relationship, you run the risk of becoming insecure and suspicious of your beau’s possible “extra-curricular” activities… What to do?

For starters, resist the urge to interrogate them. Nothing good can come out of it, besides you potentially getting hurt. You also don’t want to create a situation where you compare notes on your dates with other people, because that’s just a slippery slope to friendzone (although, if you’re already there, we got your back).

Ultimately, you need to be protective of your heart.  If you feel like you are falling for someone, you communicate your expectations on exclusivity. If they’re not okay with your request to be exclusive, then get outta there!

Only you can keep yourself safe from heartbreak, so take this responsibility very seriously.

Photographer: Stephanie McKenna

3. Find New Ways to Have Fun Together

Let’s be honest: it was maybe physical attraction that brought you together in the first place. There’s no shame in that, it’s literally the definition of a summer fling!

But if you want your bond to evolve and deepen, then you need to be able to engage in other, non-bedroom related activities together.

How about organizing a cool, outdoor date night? Or even meet up during non-hookup hours so that you get to know each other better outside of bed? The more different things you try together, the clearer it will become to both of you that this is turning into something more.

4. Make Future Plans – But Move Gently to turn flirt into a relationship

You want what the two of you have to last. So, making plans for the future seems logical, right?

Yes… and no.

If your crush has a more “right here right now” mindset, trying to get them to commit to a future activity may come off as stressful or even make them feel trapped.

The key in this in between stage from summer fling to full-fledged relationship, is to offer opportunities for future activities that are within reach. For instance: three weeks from now is okay, three months from now maybe not so much.

Keep plans fun and pressure-free (like these 10 totally free date ideas!) and if your boo doesn’t manage to make it once or twice, don’t hold it against them or behave like it’s a deal breaker.

This will take the pressure off — and make it easier for them to slowly start thinking ahead.

Photographer: Meagan Puett

5. Let Your Fling See (And Love) The Non-Summer You

We have no doubt that you look great in the summertime. You’re also probably more relaxed and fun-loving than you are when you have to worry about things like commuting to work and scraping the ice from your car.

But here’s the thing: if you want your summer fling to blossom and grow into something more substantial, eventually you’ll have to let them see the non-summer you.

You know, the one who sometimes is too tired from work and just wants to Netflix and chill. The one who sometimes can be sad, serious, kind, altruistic and many more things you wouldn’t necessarily know about while partying or sipping cocktails at the beach.

If you want to build deeper intimacy in your relationship, you need to start by being who you are, in all your glory, If they don’t like what they see, or prefer just the party version of you, well, perhaps it’s better to take yourself out on a solo date night instead?

Not sure if your summer fling is that much into you? Here’s how you can tell!

Written by:
Dirty Boots & Messy Hair Team

Connection is what it’s all about. Feel free to reach out to us with any comments or questions you might have, even if it’s only to say hello. If it wasn’t for our beautiful community, this place just wouldn’t feel the same.

01 Aug 2019


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